Oh bloit!!

My PC has suddenly broken! I woke up on saturday morning full of enthusiasm, thinking 'today I'm going to write that treatment!' but my computer wouldn't turn on!
I did at least write the treatment out on paper over the weekend, then came into university today and typed it up. It's been very helpful with getting all my jumbled up thoughts and ideas down on paper and sorting them out into a structure. Here's an extract of the first few paragraphs:
A ten minute documentary giving a realistic and deeply personal portrayal of long distance relationships. It will be aimed at students and young people who are struggling in one of these relationships and designed to appeal to a world wide audience.

The film starts by displaying the opening titles in an instant messenger programme. A pan out (?) reveals a young person typing on a computer. Over this, a brief narration describes how modern technology like e-mail and webcams have led to a boom in long distance relationships, often on other sides of the world. The panning shot moves to a wall, showing various photos, letters, postcards etc. The narrator goes on to say that someone in one of these relationships can receive a lot of criticism, even from the people close to them. The narrator asks if long distance relationships can really work, or are they really just a last resort.

I'm not entierly happy with it, I thik it sounds too much like an educational video. But still, my enthusiasm and drive are still there so I can sort it out.
I've realised that pushing back my planned shooting dates has been a very smart move. A few weeks ago I was freaking out just thinking about this film, but I've taken some time to sort it out properly and now I feel much better about it. I feel like I can actually do it because I actually know what I'm doing now!
I have a deadline for another module next week, but my plan right now is to finish the treatment, script etc in the next few weeks. Then I can move onto finding a cast and crew. I'm hoping that I'll have most of my footage shot before the Easter break (it already feels like years since Christmas break!) I hope the film making gods will be kind to me!
On a final note, I was watching the Baftas last night (since I had no computer) and was very happy that a film by a female director won so many awards, including best director and best film. Go go women filmmakers!!

Oops

So the screen test at the weekend....Didn't happen! This is becoming a normal occurance for me. It's because the equipment booking form I used for the last two years seems to not exist anymore. I'll have to e-mail someone to find out how to book equipment out. Minor setback, but one that can be fixed. I could always take the camera out and pretend it's valentine's day!! From what I've heard, filmmakers cheat all the time!
On the plus side, I've finished my assessment agreement. Basically, it's a big list of all the things I'll hand in to be graded on. It includes everything from call sheets to personal notes scribbled in my notebook. So I'd better remember to write everything I can down, including the films I watch and study and all the research I do into the world of filmmaking.
In my planning folder I wanted to do the filming in Febuary so I'd have more time for post production. But I see now that wasn't such a good idea, and obviously I'm going to need more time for planning and getting my vision for the film sorted. But It worked out ok in last year's module so I'm sure it'll work out fine too. Just a scheduling error.
I still have my confidence, that's the most important thing.

The ball is rolling

So now things are going with a bang and a boom! Ok, not quite. I just got back from meeting with Phillip, and now I am determined to keep in contact with him and keep up with this project. I've got my confidence back now so I think I can do it.
Still, the meeting did make me feel that my ideas are really haphazard right now. I'm so paranoid I think things like 'everyone else in the class is probably half way through their project by now and I haven't even started!'
But as I said before- small steps. I've got an idea of the things I should be doing immedietly, because it's more important to think about what you can do in the present. Before I start thinking about finding subjects to film, I need to write a detailed treatment to show exactly what I want the film to be about. If I can give others a clear idea of what the film will be like, it'll help me visualise it too. At least I think that's how it works...
I also have to do the assessment agreement to hand in next week (that's just to decide exactly how the project will be marked) think about things like style, content and visuals and doing a screen test to see how I like the look and sound of myself on screen.
That last one has given me an idea - This weekend is Valentines day and since I haven't gotten any people to film yet, how about I take out a video camera from the university and shoot a little screen test of my thoughts and feelings on valentines day? I could even get some footage of contacting my boyfriend, or reading the sappy poem I wrote for him (or is that a little too much?)
Ok so I'm more or less back on track now and things are finally happening.
BUT...
I forgot to go to the office and book time in the Broadcast Lab!! Three steps foreward, one step back...

Baby steps

So I've sent an e-mail to my guiding tutor asking for a meeting. I wanted to book some time in the Broadcast Lab to log and capture my Finland footage but I can't seem to find the booking form. I swear it is hiding from me! And unfortunately I've already come home from university for the day so I'll have to wait until Wednesday and go and talk to the ladies in the office.
But still, at least I've done something. I feel so much better now I've taken the first step, even if it's just a small one.

Entering production hell

So it's several weeks into the new term. It's still very cold outside. And so far the project isn't going well. In fact, it isn't going at all.
For the first few weeks of the term I've had essays and assigments for other modules which took up my time, but those are out the way now and I have plenty of time but nothing is happening. I think the problem is I don't know where to start. I keep thinking about what I should do but can't find any answers, so time keeps going on without me doing anything. And that makes me feel anxious which just makes me avoid the work even more. It's a viscious cycle...
My schedule in the planning folder said that I should've found the cast and crew by the end of January. Well it's been Febuary for almost a week and nothing. The crew will be easy enough to find at this uni, but I don't know where to find a good cast. I know they're out there, but I don't know how to find them! I've had a few friends say they know someone I could talk to but then seemed to forget about me completely. It's not just about finding people, it's about finding people with something interesting to say. So what should I do? Go around all my friends and ask them? Put up a notice? (would require Photoshop skills which I don't have) Send out a mass e-mail? That could work, if I can find the person who sends them out. But it could also be an epic fail. Most of the time I just ignore those mass e-mails.
Ok, so I think the first thing I should do is calm down and remember that it's not too late. I've recovered well from disasters before. Secondly, I think I should talk to my guiding tutor who will at least give me some things to do or think about. Thirdly, make a list of things to do, even if they're just small things, and start doing them. At least if I'm staying active, I won't feel anxious anymore.